Forgive Yourself

"Forgive Yourself."  These are words written in a blog post by Dana Clark that I recently and thoroughly enjoyed.  We live in a lifetime where there is a lot of pressure to achieve greatness.  Whether you are a student, teacher, parent, or any professional, there is a constant feeling of judgement in our world.  As a parent, I constantly fear that I am not disciplining my children enough, or maybe I'm being too harsh.  As a teacher, I fear that that I taught that lesson wrong--I said too much; I didn't say enough.

For instance, when we have new curriculum to teach, it puts us in a place of major discomfort as teachers because there is so much unexpected; when by default we need to feel in control of EVERYTHING!  It's discomforting to say the least.  When a lesson doesn't go just right, we feel guilty and analyze it over and over.  But then, the kids end up okay, because we go back and try it again, a different way.  But the pressure of fitting this all into the small amount of time we have with these kids, in the grand scheme of time, can be discouraging.  Flip this over to the student, and I worry...  if I am putting all this pressure on myself, what pressures are these young minds feeling each day?

I think the answer here is that we need to forgive ourselves.  We need to accept imperfection.  Get back up and try again---or, let something go.  After all, this is what we should be teaching our kids, our students, and our peers.  But, we have the hardest time doing it ourselves. I always find that I give really good advice to people, but I don't always follow my own advice.  Sometimes we have to stop and listen to that inner voice telling us, "it's okay,"  just like we do for our students and loved ones. 

A few years back I had decided to go back to school, and my biggest concern was time.  How could I possibly fit more into my day?  But, when I thought about the impact it would have, I convinced myself that I needed do it, and that something else would have to give.  Maybe I would have to order dinner out more often (no problem--I don't like cooking anyway!); or maybe the dishes wouldn't get done; or, maybe I would have to skip that birthday party.  In the end, I did make it work because I was able to forgive myself--allow myself to have a pass.  Every so often I give homework passes out to my students to allow a break when they need it; and this time I gave one to myself. We all need a break with something, at some point.  Something has to be skipped to fit something else in.  We need to allow this, and accept it.  It's impossible to do it all, and that is okay!

Truth be told, I started writing this post several months ago.  I was ready to abandon it because I couldn't even remember what I had started. But, when I looked back at it, I realized it truly is something we need to work hard at reminding ourselves of every, single, day.  Forgiving yourself is not a one time act.  It's ongoing.  It's important.  It's a way to survive.  It's taking care of you.

With this said, please check out the STUDENT GUEST BLOG POST by Raima and Zola about Wellness Wedenesdays.  It's a great reminder of how to take care of you.